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Archive for March, 2010

Its on days like today that i start questioning what relationships really mean…what they are…and how much of it is for real?  when we went to school all our friends had the concept of rakhi brother- a brother who was not flesh and blood but who was perhaps a brother of convenience…most of the time they turned out to be boyfriends at a later stage but well…that’s another story…the easiest way to meet boys in school and yet not hide and meet them. I, for one, always scorned this concept and for me this never existed…how could someone not related to you somehow be your brother? friend, buddy, pal? yeah…brother…nevaaah!!!

and then many years later I met this idiot ( lets call him A)who made me get my arse off my high horse and realize that sometimes these relationships do come true. He showed me that relationships go beyond sheer family…they are what you make of them…not necessarily what they were made to be.  And these relationships are really that touch you deep inside your soul, where perhaps youve always had a silent whine for a pal/buddy you’ve never had.

A and me dont go back very very long. Its not like we have known each other forever and grown up together. While i love believing in that kind of a soppy story and feel, the truth is A and i met through work, surprisingly thru my cousin brother. At that time A used to work for a coffee chain and I for a NGO. He was this charming young man who helped me out big time on a project i was doing and the next thing I knew i was introducing him to M and we were all having dinner together. Then A moved…to Hyderabad i think and i thought in my mind that it was nice knowing such a charming young guy, now that we wouldn’t be in touch anymore…those were the days when there was no facebook to claw you out of any semblance of sanity or privacy you might have left. We did lose touch and then got back in touch after some time and this time it continued. We grew closer and fonder of each other. and then he was going again…this time far far away where we wouldnt even be able to talk. i was sad and this time around i knew this would really be the end of our friendship…but we continued.

Somewhere over the years we became more than friends…he is the baby brother iv never had…to spoil, to scold, to love endlessly and to bitch with. he claims i am the sister he has never had ( he is too busy courting women to think of them as anything else anyway).

But all these days our relationship has never been tested the way it was yesterday. Something stupid i did led us to fight and for him to say some very mean things to me…and it hit me then… it shook me from the core of my soul and perhaps hurt me like my own brother would never ever have managed to do. and i cried…not for what he had said…but for what he made me out to be. i decided it wasnt worth picking up with him…because he probably didnt feel this way. And then today he came back…told me how he felt…about what I said, about us, about what I meant to his life. And while I sat there listning to him ( rather reading him online), I had tears streaming down my face. because i knew that somewhere in the world, far far away, there was also a small brother grieving at the hurt he caused someone who loved him for real. and he taught me that brothers are for real…even if they are not made of your own blood.

I love you lots A

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